The Stepford Veep

The Republican Right's dream vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, is too perfect to be real. Surely she is the creation, in some smoke-filled backroom political laboratory where all the strings are pulled, of a Svengali Karl Rove, a made-t0-order android who recites all the correct conservative buzz words and fires up "the base."

"It's so obvious that I'm a Washington outsider and not used to the ways you guys operate," she said at one point in her debate with Joe Biden. Yeah, right. She's not from Wasilla, Alaska, but from Stepford, the suburb where men's dreams are fulfilled by robots. The perfect end to a political process in tatters. "How long have I been at this? Five weeks?" she said. Depends on when her on switch was pushed.

None of the commentators have yet figured this out. If Americans can simulate a moon landing on a Hollywood backlot, they can certainly create the Republican wet dream, a moose-killing hockey mom married to a snowmobiling Joe Six-Pack. Since the corporate CEOs don't look so good these days (greed is no longer "in"), the party of Teddy Roosevelt and John Dewey has turned to a Main Street Barbie Doll for their words of wisdom.

"Say it ain't so, Joe. There you go again, pointing backwards again. You prefaced your whole comment with the Bush administration." In a marvelous bait and switch, this robot argued that Americans now need to "look forward" and ignore that McCain is the Republic nominee for President, bearing the mantle of the political party that has trashed whatever America once stood for, at home (the economy tanking) and abroad (where even our friends now hate us).

That the folksy trite-talking Palin -- "darn right" and "bless their hearts" she said with a wink and a nod -- could call McCain and herself "mavericks" with a straight face, was surely a dead giveaway that she's made of wires and computer chips. "I may not answer the questions the way the moderator and you want to hear," she said to Biden. Obviously. She could only repeat the talking points programmed into her by her handlers.

The Stepford Veep said she was in favor of rights for gay couples but agreed with Biden that marriage was a sacred word, reserved only for heterosexuals. She even agreed, partly, that global warming needs to be addressed. But on Iraq she told Biden that “your plan is a white flag of surrender in Iraq," and advocated a "surge" in Afghanistan. Both candidates gave knee-jerk lip service to protecting Israel. While no doubt sincere, neither admitted that the source of Middle Eastern terrorism is our support for a religious state, one that wields enormous influence in U.S. political circles.

Through it all, Biden (she called him "Joe" and he addressed her as "Governor") was presidential, my choice if it weren't for his support of Israel. I have no doubt that he could take over if something should happen to Obama. Palin, however, scares me. A Stepford President?