HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MALI!

YESTERDAY WAS MALI THE HIPPO'S 41ST BIRTHDAY AND I WAS IN ATTENDANCE FOR FESTIVITIES AT DUSIT PARK ZOO IN BANGKOK. TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY (ALTHOUGH ONE SOURCE OPTS FOR MAY 29TH, AND ANOTHER FOR A DATE IN AUGUST), AND WHO AM I TO GO AGAINST TRADITION?

I JOINED JUST ABOUT ALL OF BANGKOK AT THE 47-ACRE ZOO (AND A HANDFUL OF FARANG AND THEIR KIDS), AND LEARNED OF THE HAPPY OCCASION WHEN ENCOUNTERING THIS PARADE OF CHILDREN AND ANIMALS (THE LITTLE KIDS WITH SNAKES WRAPPED AROUND THEIR NECKS WERE REALLY CUTE). MALI CAME TO THAILAND FROM TILLBERG ZOO IN THE NETHERLANDS IN 1967 WHEN SHE WAS 2. NOW SHE HAS 14 HIPPO CHILDREN AND NUMEROUS GRANDCHILDREN LIVING AT ZOOS ALL OVER THE WORLD. SHE CELEBRATED HER BIRTHDAY BY FEASTING ON FRUITS AND VEGETABLES DONATED BY VARIOUS FANS. THE ZOO IS PART OF THE ROYAL DUSIT GARDEN PALACE, SET UP BY KING RAMA V OVER A HUNDRED YEARS AGO AS HIS PRIVATE BOTANICAL GARDEN. IT WAS CONVERTED INTO A MUNICIPAL ZOOLOGICAL GARDEN IN 1938 AND, JUDGING BY THE HUGE CROWDS SUNDAY, IS IMMENSELY POPULAR WITH BANGKOK CITIZENS. EVERYWHERE I SAW GATHERINGS OF THAIS PICNICKING. THE GROUNDS INCLUDE A LARGE LAKE, WHICH WAS FULL OF PLEASURE BOATS, AND SEVERAL ISLANDS CONNECTED BY BRIDGES. THE COLLECTION INCLUDES A COUPLE OF WHITE TIGERS AND A LARGE GROUP OF ENDANGERED DOUC LANGUR MONKEYS. THE CHILDREN'S AREA FEATURED A PAIR OF BUNNIES NEXT TO A "DO NOT TOUCH" SIGN; DANGEROUS BEASTS INDEED! THERE WERE SNACK BARS EVERYWHERE, INCLUDING A KFC, AND I WATCHED PEOPLE PASS LEAVES THROUGH THE BARS TO THE MONKEYS UNDERNEATH A "DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS" SIGN. SOMEONE WALKED BY ME WITH COTTON CANDY, ONLY IT WAS GREEN, NOT PINK. BESIDES THE TIGERS THERE WERE LIONS AND BEARS, AND A COUPLE OF RATTY-LOOKING SINGLE-HUMPED CAMELS. EVERYWHERE PEOPLE WERE TAKING PHOTOS, AND I'M SURE THE RESIDENTS OF NOCTURNAL HOUSE DID NOT APPRECIATE THE FLASHES.

ORDINARILY I DO NOT CARE FOR ZOOS. LIFE DOES NOT BELONG IN A CAGE. AND THE CAGES AT DUSIT ZOO WERE A BIT CAREWORN AND IN NEED OF A GOOD CLEANING. LARGE CROWDS OFTEN GIVE ME THE WILLIES. BUT YESTERDAY WAS A DELIGHT. THAIS ON HOLIDAY ARE NOT ONLY HUNGRY BUT JOYOUS, AND SMILES ARE NEVER FAR FROM THEIR FACES. HOW MANY ZOOS DO YOU KNOW INCLUDE BUDDHIST MONKS CHANTING IN A LARGE TENT?


I SAW "STARDUST" THIS WEEKEND AT THE EMPORIUM MULTIPLEX AND THE BEST THING ABOUT IT IS ROBERT DE NIRO AS THE CROSS-DRESSING CAPTAIN SHAKESPEARE, A PIRATE OF THE AIR WITH A FEARSOME REPUTATION WHO KEEPS A SELECTION OF FROCKS AND SOME MAKEUP IN HIS CABIN. WHILE HE TRIES TO MAINTIN HIS REPUTATION AS A MACHO SEAMAN, HIS CREW OF PIRATES KNOWS THE SECRET THAT HE IS A "WHOOPSIE." DE NIRO AS A DRAG QUEEN IS A GUILTY PLEASURE. SINCE I COULD FIND NO PHOTOS OF DE NIRO IN DRAG ON THE INTERNET, I SUSPECT HE PREVENTED RELEASE OF THEM IN ORDER TO BLUNT THE DAMAGE THEY MIGHT DO TO HIS TOUGH GUY REPUTATION (IT HAS CERTAINLY NOT HARMED THE CAREERS OF DUSTIN HOFFMAN AND ROBIN WILLIAMS AND OTHER NOTABLE FILM DRAG QUEENS). BUT THE NEWS THAT ALBUS DUMBLEDOR, HEADMASTER OF HOGWARTS, WAS GAY HAS SHAKEN THE LEGIONS OF HARRY POTTER FANS. AUTHOR J.K. ROWLING PULLED HIM OUT OF THE CLOSET DURING A RECENT PUBLICITY TOUR FOR THE FINAL BOOK IN THE SERIES, HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS. SHE TOLD AN AUDIENCE IN NEW YORK THAT "I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF DUMBLEDORE AS GAY." SHE WAS READING THE SCRIPT OF THE SIXTH FILM RECENTLY, SHE EXPLAINED, AND THEY HAD DUMBLEDORE TELLING HARRY, "I KNEW A GIRL ONCE, WHOSE HAIR..." "I HAD TO WRITE A LITTLE NOTE IN THE MARGIN AND SLIDE IT ALONG TO THE SCRIPTWRITER, 'DUMBLEDORE'S GAY.'"

IF YOU THINK THE CAPS LOCK KEY IS A MISTAKE, LEARN HOW TO DISABLE IT HERE (BUT THIS WON'T HELP YOU WITH THIS ANNOYING BLOG POST!).